Talk to the Snail--Ten Commandments for Understanding the French: Stephen Clarke

"DON'T GO TO FRANCE WITHOUT READING THIS BOOK!

"Have you ever walked into a half-empty Parisian restaurant, only to be told that it's 'complet'? Attempted to say 'merci beaucoup' and accidentally complimented someone's physique? Been over-looked at the boulangerie due to your adherence to the bizarre foreign custom of waiting in line?

"Well, you're not alone. Internationally best-selling author Stephen Clarke has been there too, and he is here to help. In Talk to the Snail, Clarke distills the fruits of years spent in the French trenches into a handy (and hilarious) book of comentary and advice. Read this book, and find out how to get good service from the grumpiest waitor; be exquisitely polite and brutally rude at the same time; and employ the language of l'amour and le sexe. Clarke also illuminates some of the reasons the French get under our skins: How they work only thirty-five hours a week and yet still go on strike? Why are they so convinced of their own superiority? And what's this myth about French women not getting fat?

"Packed with useful phrases, candid tips, and deft intercultural analysis, Talk to the Snail is a must-have guide to getting what you want from the French."

I picked up this book at work for something to do when it was really slow. Little did I know that I would have to put it down many times because I was laughing too loudly in a library. It was HILARIOUS!!! I loved the wit and character that this book contained. The "commandments" themselves are only a hint at the laughter to come:

1) Thou Shalt Be Wrong (if you are not French): Why every Frenchman is 'Monsieur Right'
2) Thou Shalt Not Work: Why long weekends are good for the French economy
3) Thou Shalt Eat: Just because it smells of pig's droppings doesn't mean it'll taste like them
4) Thou Shalt Be Ill: Getting the best out of the French national drug habit
5) Thou Shalt Speak French: Fun ways to mispronounce words and offend people
6) Thou Shalt Not Sing (in tune, anyway): A French artiste says: 'Pretentious, moi?'
7) Thou Shalt Not Know: Don't mention the war, nuclear power, tax or structural surveys
8) Thou Shalt Not Love Thy Neighbor: Oui, I am smoking into your dinner, et alors?
9) Thou Shalt Not Be Served: Garcon? Waiter? Bonjour? Oh, forget it
10) Thou Shalt Be Polite (and simultaneously rude): Bonjour, Madame, vous etes une idiote
11) Thou Shalt Say 'I Love You': The perils of French-style amour

I have to say that number seven is one of my favorites, but all of the ten (though there are really 11...go figure...) commandments were awesome.

I REALLY recommend this book for anyone who likes to travel, plans to go to France, or is just looking for a REALLY good laugh!

:D