"Amber Reynolds wakes up in a hospital. She can't move. She can't speak. She can't open her eyes. She can hear everyone around her, but they have no idea.
"Amber doesn't remember what happened to her, but she has a sneaking suspicion her husband had something to do with it. Or her sister. Or maybe both.
"Terrified and trapped inside her own body, she slowly begins to remember a night that changed her life. Is she in a coma due to an accident? Is her sister having an affair with her husband? What happened at work with her horrible boss? And who is the person who is silently visiting her bedside each night?
"Alternating between her paralyzed present, the week before her accident, and a series of childhood diaries from twenty years ago, Sometimes I Lie builds into an ending that will leave readers speechless as this brilliant psychological thriller asks, Is something really a lie if you believe it's the truth?"
This was another of my Pinterest finds and it was, once again, a very different choice from my normal reading material. It's definitely been interesting to branch out and experience new authors and types of stories.
This book definitely plays with your mind and it suits the term "psychological thriller" to a tee. You are just as lost as Amber as she tries to sort through her damaged mind to figure out how she got into that hospital bed; you experience her last week of normalcy and get a taste for her life before the accident; and you witness the development of a child's mind via the diary entries from twenty years prior. I won't sugarcoat it: There are more than a few disturbing moments in this book (then again, would it really be a psychological thriller if there weren't?). You don't know who or what to believe -- especially because the narrator has come right out and said she can sometimes be a liar. Whose truth do we believe? What is reality and what is fiction? In literature, there can be "unreliable narrators," but what do we do when the narrator outright admits that she's unreliable? There are so many twists and turns throughout that I had no clue what was coming until it hit me right in the face.
The chapters were short and routinely cycled from Amber's paralytic coma, before her accident, and the diary entries. Each section had a very unique perspective. This form of writing kept me captivated because I wasn't bogged down by long chapters (not that I mind them, I just think the format used by Feeney here was particularly well-suited to this type of book). It kept me on my toes and whetted my appetite for more. I couldn't wait for what little tidbit or clue would be revealed in the next section. Being kept in the dark with Amber as the narrator meant we felt her pain and lost what little consciousness she had just as she did; we experienced her deeply troubled mind and past in broken pieces; as well as we learned right along with her slowly-healing memory what had happened to her. The dark secrets she carefully covered up, the lies which slowly come to light, all serve to craft a very deep, dark, and infinitely complex narrator. So much lies beneath the surface that the differences between fact and fiction become blurred in such a way that even reality sometimes feels like one of her troubling coma-induced dreams. Rather than more answers, we're often left with more questions as we get deeper into the story; which is, of course, the perfect thing to get a reader to devour a book in a short span of time. This happens quite a bit in the old diary entries and some of those happened to be my favorite sections.
Characters who seemed normal and/or reliable were rarely so. Whether it was Amber's paranoia or her hyper-perceptive nature, we're never quite certain. Her husband, Paul, is a great source of anxiety for Amber. A great deal of the sections taking place before the accident revolve around her belief that he is having an affair; it's hinted quite strongly that his affair is with Amber's sister, Claire, which could be a reason why Amber seems to have a great deal of anxiety when it comes to her. However, it's not until much, much later in the story that we realize the true source of this anxiety and mistrust...and the revelation is frightening on so many levels. What we believe to be jealousy of Claire -- her perfect appearance, how she always seems to be one step ahead of Amber on life's journey even though she's younger, and how Claire was able to give her husband children (even if she had to go through IVF) -- turns out to be something much darker.
The writing, itself, is masterful in the sense that Feeney never reveals too much. She waits for the exact moment to reveal a hint and then promptly never mentions it again until all of the pieces finally come together at the very end. I kept finding myself wondering how all of those pieces could possibly fit in a satisfying way, but it ended up working in such a way that I had to sit back and think to myself, "Wow...that was one hell of a ride." I was kept captivated by the style and careful glimpses of clues, which is perfect for this genre.
I will once again caution you that this book is dark and parts are very disturbing -- it's certainly not for everyone. There are some very intense scenes, twisted themes, and very troubled characters. This isn't a traditional mystery: Of course, we don't know "who done it," but there is so, so much more to this book than that -- especially because the "victim" is alive...and she's also the unreliable narrator. ***SPOILER: There are scenes of rape, stalking, and violent murder. I suggest staying away from this book if you're squeamish about any of those things.*** I recommend this book if you're not afraid to try something new and experience an author who will have you on the edge of your seat. Feeney hasn't had many books published as of yet, but I expect that we'll be seeing a great deal more of her in the future. Happy reading!
SIDE NOTE: I'm excited because I just realized that this book technically fulfills my "book set at Christmas" requirement for my 2018 reading list! You can find the reading challenge HERE.
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